The World this Week

Happening week this one was (or not)

Lemme see what i can remember:

Watched 3 new movies the past week

I really liked Terminator Salvation, which i completely did not expect to do. And might i just add that Sam Worthington aka Marcus Wright is really really really good looking. Lil Sis and me both agreed, for once.

The movie, although a lot of it was predictable, it was still good - despite Christian Bale's weird deep throat voice. It kinda maybe worked in Batman, (seeing as he was Batman and all) but doesn't work in every movie. Really. It doesn't.

Also watched the new Star Trek. I'm not sure if was supposed to be as funny as i found it. Eric Bana - good. The rest - just funny. I guess i expected more from it.

Angels and Demons - Whoever it was who decided to redo Tom Hanks hairstyle - Thank you!!!

I actually enjoyed this movie- and not having to see the ridiculous hairstyle he sported in the Da Vinci code made it a whole lot easier.

Ewan McGregor had a accent i can really get used to. Although, if he's been at the Vatican so long, you'd think the accent would go away a bit no?

I read the book ages ago, and couldnt remember how it ended. Think i'll read it again, i only remember that i liked it then.

I'm finally done with Charles and Keith shoes - and the straw that broke this camels back came when i bloody slipped and fell because the damn slippers had no purchase even on rough ground.

And then to give a good start to the week to come, i woke up yesterday morning and thought it was Sunday and was really really pissed off that my alarm rang. Had to stare at the damn phone for a whole minute to make sure it really did say Monday and wasn't playing games on me.

Not good. Not good at all.

Then my pao friend RR (this would make sense if you were Goan, but we'll save that for another wasted & mindless posting) added his two bit of Monday morning wisdom and in his strange but not-at-all fascinating me also gave me what he calls a compliment:

RR: You're perfectly demented in the right amounts already

There are right and wrong amounts, you ask? well, i did ask too, unfortunately.

RR: yeah - Wrong amounts are when women nag. Right amounts is when we can have a conversation about how screwed up it is to name your child Sheldon*

So there!! I am now officially demented in the right amounts.

And to complete this lovely posting, i'll just say how might happy i am go now get back to work and my 327 EMAILS MORE TO GO...Its a real pain when you let the work pile up and then do a count on the number of email you still have to read. Steven, if you're reading this posting, i DO NOT want to hear how you are on holiday for the next 2 weeks while I'm here counting down the end of days.

* I'm not entirely sure about the wisdom of sharing this, but it has something to do with the fact that Sheldon is not a good sex name to have. Umm, no, you don't really want to know. Maybe another day i'll share why screaming 'Ride me Sheldon' qualifies as a comedy show and a turn off and almost any other name would sound better. To all the Sheldons i know, really Sorry. No offense

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The 2009 Alternative Oscars

I'm not sure why I'm doing this but i found this funny enough. Found it on esquire.com. My half-ass comments in red. Oh well, its too early in the morning to make any comments.
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But i will say that Jason Statham does look hot in a suit, and although i am not a Daniel Craig fan, it is saddening (!) that none of the Bonds have won
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There, comments done. And highlighted in red.
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The 2009 Alternative Oscars
Our statuettes are plastic. Our carpet is more of a cranberry. And our tuxedos are at the cleaners. Also, our tastes are slightly more objective than those of the Academy members. So, without commercial interruption, shamelessly researched speeches, or a roll call of the dead, here's a lauding of the achievements in cinema that won't get properly lauded at this year's Academy Awards.




Most Fun Blond: Elizabeth Banks
Terrific in both W. and Zack and Miri Make a Porno, she played Laura Bush and an amateur porn star in the same month. Nobody does the look of weary exasperation mixed with tenderness better, and there isn't a more common look that women give men. It's as if she were the middle child and only girl in a family of six brothers.



Best Actor Playing Himself: Jean-Claude Van Damme in JCVD
The most moving monologue of the year was the six-minute, one-take meditation on childhood dreams and fame at the heart of this movie: "When you're 13, you believe in your dream. Well, it came true for me. But I still ask myself today what I've done on this earth. Nothing! I've done nothing!" Melancholy and the capacity for astonishing violence always go well together.




Best Piece of Inside Information: Twilight
The good news is that this movie tells you what young women want. The bad news is that they want you to be a vampire, filled with dark and eternal desires, but tender and controlled enough not to suck their blood. Also, it would be good if you looked like Robert Pattinson and had skin that shimmers like ground crystal in broad daylight.




Best Sacred Dialogue: Doubt
Father Flynn [Philip Seymour Hoffman]: You haven't the slightest proof of anything.
Sister Aloysius [Meryl Streep]: But I have my certainty.





Best Profane Dialogue: In Bruges
An Irish assassin, played by Brendan Gleeson, offers constructive criticism to his gangster boss (Ralph Fiennes).
Ken [Gleeson]: Harry, let's face it. And I'm not being funny. I mean no disrespect, but you're a cunt. You're a cunt now, and you've always been a cunt. And the only thing that's going to change is that you're going to be an even bigger cunt. Maybe have some more cunt kids.
Harry [Fiennes] [furious]: Leave my kids fucking out of it! What have they done? You fucking retract that bit about my cunt fucking kids!
Ken: I retract that bit about your cunt fucking kids.
Harry: Insult my fucking kids? That's going overboard, mate!
Ken: I retracted it, didn't I?


Best Alternate Universe: Hellboy II: The Golden Army
If you think about it too hard, the Catholic-pagan weltanschauung at the center of the Hellboy films just seems silly. Still, it's beautiful. From Bagpipe Player with the preserved torso for an instrument to the huge fish with the ink sac to the creature with mushrooms growing from his limbs, the world created by Guillermo del Toro is as frighteningly intense and sudden as the dreams you get when you sleep with a nicotine patch on your ass or consume strong blue cheese before bed.

Best Music: Gunnin' for That #1 Spot
Since the movie is a labor of love from Beastie Boy Adam Yauch, it should come as no surprise that the music is as innocent and cool as the genius basketball kids the movie celebrates. The fullest proof, if any were needed, of the lameness of Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist, in which twee pop songs only add to the monotony of the characters' coy adventures in posing.



Best Vehicle: Death Race
An 18-wheeler named the Dreadnought loaded with surface-to-surface missiles, 50-caliber machine guns, and a tank turret. It only comes in gray.





Best Man in a Suit: Jason Statham in The Bank Job
When Jason Statham puts on a suit, mere cloth becomes soft armor and a shortish British thug becomes somebody you aspire to be. Part of the attraction may be due to his particular technique of masculine dishabille: the collar slightly too large, the cuffs a bit too extended, the necktie skewed just so. The rest is a mysterious communion of man and clothing. It's not a statement to be made lightly, but the guy looks better in a suit than Robert De Niro.



Best Piece of Clothing: The gloves in Funny Games
The plain white gloves worn by the sadistic neighbors conjure at once the cruel indifference of butlers, scientists, and the guy who puts the ball back on the table in professional snooker. Those gloves say more about the human condition than the entire wardrobe of Sex and the City.


Funniest Apocalypse: WALL-E
The only memento of love remaining on planet Earth is Hello, Dolly! Depressing and ludicrous but also, somehow, exactly right.






Best Date Movie: Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Threesome with Scarlett Johansson and Penélope Cruz. Woody Allen doing Henry James in Spain. Everybody wins





Most Charming Racist for the Post-Obama Era
Tie — Samuel L. Jackson in Lakeview Terrace and Clint Eastwood in Gran Torino
In a joint sequel, their kids have kids. In the sequel to the sequel, one of those kids grows up to be president.




Best Failure: The Love Guru
Awards celebrate success, but some failures should be cherished. Mike Myers could make another five Austin Powers movies and then a nostalgic Wayne's World, please every executive at the studio, all the while earning enough money to warm his collection of homes by burning bricks of $100 bills. He instead chose to go way out on a limb and try to be absolutely hilarious. He landed on his ass and made a movie that nobody should watch but everybody should applaud.

Best Fantasy Object: The face mask in Iron Man
It allows Robert Downey Jr. to separate terrorists from innocent civilians and kill only the terrorists. Half the problems in the world would disappear if that mask existed.



Best Allegory for the Condition of the Urban Male in the Modern World: Quantum of Solace
Everything wrong with the Oscars can be summed up by this fact: Nobody has ever won Best Actor for James Bond. We ex-pect them to ignore the best of high art — to pick Rocky over Taxi Driver. The problem is, they won't go low, either. James Bond is the John Wayne for men who live in big cities — the model of the sophistication, confidence, and aplomb needed to survive in complex societies. Daniel Craig's is the darkest Bond yet but also one of the most honest: a man facing a brutal world in which the enemy is secretive and unknown, and he's betrayed by all the institutions he cares about. Isn't art supposed to reflect the world unflinchingly, to "hold the mirror up to nature," no matter how uncomfortable the reflection may be? Quantum of Solace does it.

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Movie Review: Quantum of Solace

Bond movies have usually been just another movie for me, probably after Pierce Brosnan took on the 007 mantle.
But this one I quite like.
The opening car chase is awesome and the rest of the movie pretty much follows from here - other than the last 1 min with the expected but still stupid ending that is.
It doesn’t have any of the fancy gadgets that most of the bond movies had, and the characters are in a way more human in this one (this observation could be clouded by the fact that I don’t remember much of the other Bond movies except for the gadgetry and action). The movie is based on his need to find out about the organisation that blackmailed his love Vesper in Casino Royale. Since this mission is more personal he has to go it alone - enter Camille (Olga Kurylenko) and old friends from Casino Royale.
I'm not the biggest Daniel Craig fan. He seems to lack in certain areas - like an expressionless face, and no charm when compared to a certain Mr. Connery.

Well, I dunno if there's anything like a typical Bond movie - this one wouldn’t be it, if there was. But its definitely a should see

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Movie Review - Max Payne. Yes, it was quite a pain sitting through it

You would think i'd have learnt my lesson by now. If the movie is awesome, it wont need a million ads on television to promote it - you'll know you have to watch it anyway

So despite seeing those million ads on TV, i still chose to be excited by the very fancy ads and go watch the movie.

Movie Rule # 1: If they keep promoting it so much its because the movie is not making any money. It isn't making any money cause its a crap movie.

So Max Payne is a DEA agent who's wife n kid get killed and he's looking for answers on who kidded em and why. There's hallucinations and lovely shots and special effects of angels and all that jazz.. but really, this movie has nothing much going for it

There's Mila Kunis who played Jackie on That 70s show. She plays an assassin Mona Sax who's sister gets killed by the same folks who killed good ole Max's family and hence - they team up!!

I liked her better on the TV show.

There's Amaury Nolasco from Prison break who plays one of the weirdest villains I've watched in a while.

Ludacris and Chris O'Donnell are happily lost in their small appearances.

I don't seem to have many good things to say about this one. The only reason you'd wanna pay to watch this on the big screen:

(a) You're a fan of Mark Wahlberg

(b) The 'action' scenes and special effects may look better on the big screen?

I never played the video game this movie is based on, but i hope it isn't as bad as the movie makes it out to be

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Indiana Jones and Theatre conversations

Finally went to watch Indiana Jones at the theatre the other day.. This is not the kind of movie where i would want noisy kids (or adults) around me ruining my concentration.. I tried, but couldn't help overhearing these bunch of American kids next to me.. They looked in their early teens

Kid One: The movie was supposed to start at 7, and it's still not begun yet
Kid Two: Exactly !!! I mean, WTF !!! Its been half and hour of just watching the ads..

Now i don't know how kids in the US speak, but I would think you usually abuse or you don't at all.. I've never actually heard anyone use an abbreviation of a cuss word.. You need to really imagine an angry 13yr old saying "WTF" in an American accent to appreciate why i dropped the whole packet of popcorn on the floor and was laughing for the next 20 mins (well, I'm laughing till now and its been a while)

As for the movie, well its Indian Jones.. Its made to entertain...and it was loads better than Get Smart. I guess Steve Carell either scores it big or not at all

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EVERYTHING IS ILLUMINATED

Bought a novel the other day - Everything is Illuminated by Jonathan Safran Foer. I've never heard of the author of the book, just picked it up along with some other ones.
So I'm at home, I've opened the book to read it, and I'm on the first page... and I'm flipping channels on the Television at the same time, and i reach HBO - where they're beginning to show - Everything is Illuminated, the movie.
these kind of weird coincidences don't happen to me at all - so you can imagine why I'm quite excited about it.
Neways, the movie is awesome. I've fallen in love with Alex the 'premium' Ukrainian wannabe American.
I absolutely loved this movie, a great one after a long long time...
Its been a while since I've seen an awesome movie that was based on a book, tis' usually the other way around
Now really looking forward to reading the book.

This from Wikipedia on the book, awesome lines :
The novel takes its title from a quote in Milan Kundera's novel The Unbearable Lightness of Being: "In the sunset of dissolution, everything is illuminated by the aura of nostalgia, even the guillotine." The passage refers to the philosophical idea that the greatest tragedies in life can only be experienced to their fullest if we are able to relive them.

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