How NOT to serenade a woman

In between this very hard working week, there's a plan for an office party this weekend; with events and all that jazz ("All that jazz" is the word/phrase of the week)
and someone wants to sing a song.. and wants me to sit in front of him for inspiration..

Song in question:
Michael Learns to Rock: That's why you go away.
There was a reason i forgot about that band 5 mins after i heard it the first time. Kill me. Kill me now